Of Pills, Pride, and Pricks

I would be astounded by the idiocy on proud display these days, if I were any longer capable of having anything but the lowest expectations for the mass of humanity. I consider it a good day when you people don’t set something important on fire. And yet, even so, the foolishness presently on offer is something quite nearly in a class all its own.

When did pharmaceutical companies become heroes? I must have missed their transition. Was it before or after they openly admitted to starting an opioid epidemic that has killed hundreds of thousands and destroyed millions of lives? I am forced to assume after, else they wouldn’t even meet the much diminished antihero standard. Does anyone know how to slot the rampant price-gouging on life-saving drugs and treatments into the timeline? To my mind, the pharmaceutical giants seem rather a lot more like villains than heroes, and I don’t even watch TV, so I’ve seen relatively few maddeningly insane advertisements about wonder drugs whose only side effects are incontinence, exploding eyeballs, and death.

But maybe people are not taking these miracle ‘vaccines’ — that were conveniently developed in record time, surely don’t employ methods and mechanisms that were heretofore virtually banned from even human trials due to severe side effects, and totally aren’t causing any adverse reactions — because of the inherent goodness of pharmaceutical companies, but because medical professionals are recommending them. Are these the same ‘medical professionals’ who were choreographing dance routines for social media while their facilities were supposedly overwhelmed?

Medical doctors are amongst the most venal, manipulable midwits ever to (dis)grace this planet. Buy an MD a hot lunch, a vacation, or a car and he’ll happily tell his patients to roll around naked in fentanyl-infused sheets, just so long as they have cash or they’re covered by insurance. Most doctors are little more than an ambulatory ego, chock full of outdated — often dangerously so — information. Many of them are Atheists, not because they have warrant for being so, but because their god complexes cannot abide the competition. Who do you imbeciles think prescribed all those drugs that killed hundreds of thousands? You’re more likely to be killed by a doctor than you are to die from COVID.

Maybe you don’t trust the pharmaceutical companies or the doctors, but that just leaves the politicians. I don’t know what to do with you people. I do know that most of you who have not taken the vaccines should not be proud of yourselves. A rat that turns the right way in a maze it’s never run before is not being clever — it’s just being lucky, and there’s no credit for dumb luck.

Virtually all of you should learn to listen to your betters, but you won’t. You’ll continue to suffer pointlessly and complain ineffectually, impotently. And yet we’re faced with a sort of catch-22 — except not insipid and less likely to make midwitted high schoolers feel superior — you lot make poor decisions because you lack the good sense God gave geese, but the very same defect often contributes to your failure to properly identify your betters. Not, of course, that it matters, because you wouldn’t listen to your betters even if you somehow managed to identify them. You’ll continue to open walnuts by mashing them against your forehead, and pfui to anyone who would dare even to suggest that there may possibly be a better way.

So take your poison, or don’t — whichever one the squirrel that is your ego happens to demand — just make sure that you are insufferably proud of whichever path you ‘choose’. Everything is on fire and you are insisting on attempting to rescue your matchsticks collection instead of evacuating out the only remaining window not engulfed in flames. Well, I won’t try to stop you, because I’ve already exited the building and now I’m watching it burn from a lawn chair. Just try not to bring any of the fire with you, if, by some miracle, you actually do escape in time; I’m not going to waste my drink trying to extinguish you.

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